The Norwegian Widower - Days 9 and 10

As I rolled over toward my nightstand to smack the noise-making-thing-with-numbers-on-it, I realized I would probably prefer to be awoken by the sound of nails on a chalkboard compared to my alarm clock.  I limped (from fatigue, not pain) down the stairs and successfully located the frying pan.  And on the ninth day…I finally cooked the scrambled eggs to perfection, or about as close as I will ever come.

We had run out of juice boxes in the fridge the day before, and I had neglected to find out if stores would sell me some more.  As a result, I was feeling uncertain and even somewhat afraid of what beverage I would pack Tito for lunch, and also how Bitsy would choke down her medicine.  On a whim, I looked on the shelf in the garage, and there, in what seemed like a modern day miracle, was another container of juice boxes.  I nearly wept tears of joy.

After letting her stay up until eleven o’clock last night, I somehow roused Bitsy around eight.  I was expecting an unpleasant morning, but in a shocking turn of events, she consumed all 40 milligrams of her medicine in only five minutes!  Much to her delight, I responded by loudly bellowing, “Ladies and gentlemen, here she is, your medicine consuming champion of the world, Sofiaaaa Bossssstrommmmmmmmmmmm!”

After dropping her off at school, I returned to the guest room for a two hour nap, unable to get myself back out of bed until snoozing the alarm two times.  Nearly the first thing I found after arising was Tito’s homework on the floor.  It may have been visible had the floor been less cluttered.

Just before leaving to do some consulting, the friendly people at Kohl’s charge card called to inquire as to why we were late with our payment.  After successfully talking them out of both a $25 late fee and $10 operator-assisted payment fee, I settled our account.  As I hung up the phone, I couldn’t help but wonder how many other folks we owe money to, as I haven’t looked at bills since Kacey left.

I spend a few hours at my client and stayed in a consulting meeting until the last minute.  As usual, I grossly underestimated the time it would take to get to Bitsy’s school.  As she finally saw my car drive into sight, she put her hands on her hips and scowled.  I begged her forgiveness, which I believe was granted.

Upon arriving home, I found Big Daddy and one of my uncles trying to unclog my drain.  A couple hours, thirty foot snake, and two trips to the hardware store later, we were back in business.  Who knew that a leftover beef roast doesn’t work well down the drain? 

When they went to the hardware for the second time, I realized I had 30 minutes before leaving for church, and had neither the energy nor the knowledge of how to actually find something to make for dinner.  When my dad said he would pick up some burgers and fries at McDonald’s, I wanted to shout for joy.

By the time I arrived at church, I was absolutely numb and in substandard condition to lead a small group of 11 energetic sixth grade boys.  In an act of mercy, only six of the boys showed up and were delightful and well behaved.

I got home to see that nobody had kidnapped Bitsy Tito and I were gone; I was never so happy to see her spend a couple straight hours on the computer.

I collapsed into my chair and wrote a bit, extremely thankful that Tito didn’t need any help with his homework.  A bit later, as I tucked him in, I asked him what he missed most about Kacey.  He said, “Well, probably that she is really nice.”  As I tucked in Bitsy, I similarly asked her if she was excited for Kacey’s impending arrival, “Yeah, I am happy mom is coming home, but it was fun.  You are a good dad.  You aren’t completely useless, except for cooking and for picking me up from school 15 minutes late.”

Despite being absolutely exhausted, I had consulting work to do, a book to write, and a Norwegian Widower blog to update (which in hindsight was probably not my brightest idea).  Thus, I couldn’t relax, and I worked until about one thirty in the morning.  After tossing, turning, and twitching for an hour, I got back up and worked some more.  I finally drifted off sometime after four-thirty in the morning.  Based on the recommendation of one of my blog followers, I just shut the door to my own bedroom to keep the cats out.  Wow, that was easy, and I wish I’d followed their advice earlier!

When the alarm went off just a bit over two hours later, I was depressed to realize I didn’t even leave myself enough time to hit the snooze button.  Hunched over a bit, I staggered down the hallway toward Tito’s room and noticed that my mouth was hanging open, one eye was closed, and the other was half shut.  Sure enough, after finally perfecting scrambled eggs the day before, Tito asked for a waffle today. 

Every time I turned around in the kitchen, I found myself needing to stand still for a few seconds just to re-focus both my eyes and my brain.  He made it out the door with combed hair, and a bit later, I supervised Bitsy’s medicine-taking for the final time.  While I failed in my goal to teach her how to swallow a pill, it seems that she developed a new way for her to take her medicine, as it took her barely over three minutes  and the gagging noises were kept to a minimum.

I dropped Bitsy off at school and went home to do some consulting work.  After a couple hours of Excel spreadsheets, I was unable to keep my eyes open.  With a late night and a long weekend ahead, I called my consulting boss and more or less pleased for an extension, which was I was delighted that she granted.

After hanging up, I was looked around my house and realized I was going to be leaving it somewhat messy for Kacey.  I was feeling discouraged about doing that, but just then, my mother-in-law called and said that she and Kacey’s sister would be over in a little bit to clean our house.  Wow!

I crashed for a solid three hours and scrambled to get ready.  I had plans that evening which involved picking up a country music singing friend from the airport, so after moving my sister-in-law’s car out from behind my own, I drove Tito and Bitsy over to Big Daddy’s house.  He would be picking up both Kacey and my mom.

As I dropped the kids off in my final act as a Norwegian Widower and drove away to pick up my buddy, I reflected a bit on the experience and want to give a quick shout out to three different groups of people:

To married couples who have kids but both work - I don’t know how you do it and actually stay married.  But bless those of you who do.

To stay at home parents like Kacey, I salute you.  I didn’t meet anything but my kids’ basic needs, and my readers may even question if I did that.  But, your ability to be there for your kids provides a stability that is irreplaceable.  Sure, you could be making more money or contributing to society in a different way if you weren’t at home, but the role you play in developing your children is valuable beyond belief.  I know this, because I am married to a woman who is (almost always) joyful to be a stay at home mom.  And the work she has done with our kids over the past years has molded them into responsible and delightful kids.  I don’t know how I would have survived 10 days with them without the benefit of the foundation she has built.

And to single parents who don’t have my fortune of seeing a light at the end of the tunnel, you amaze me.  Trying to balance  the needs of my kids while still pulling home a paycheck was incredibly stressful.  But, I have well-behaved 11 and 9 year old kids, and some of you have younger kids that require significantly more of your time.  So, to those of you reading this who know a single parent, please try to help them out periodically, either with chores, babysitting, or whatever you can offer.  Kacey does this on a regular basis with a single mom, and I have never appreciated her efforts more.

Wrapping up my journey, I picked up my buddy at the airport 45 minutes late and we began to head to our first event of the weekend.  It was then that I received a call from my sister-in-law asking me if I knew where her car keys were, as I had moved her car just an hour earlier.  After thinking for a moment, I patted my front pants pocket and found them.  As I drove back home, I couldn’t help but think that it was a fitting end to my ten day comedy of errors.

And with that, I don't think I have ever been so happy to say these next two words...

The end!