The Norwegian Widower - Day 2

“Get up!” said Tito loudly.  My eyes popped wide open, and I noticed that it was light outside.  I quickly turned to my nightstand, saw that is was a few minutes after seven, just 15 minutes until he needed to leave for the school bus.  I discovered why my alarm clock has failed me - I had set it for 6:45PM.

I hustled downstairs and began the process of scrambling some eggs.  I made four of them, and I’m not sure why.  He had no chance at eating that many, when also including two pieces of toast, but I was pretty zoned out.  While I was relieved to see that he had clothes on, I paid no attention to whether they matched at all. 

As I set the eggs in front of him, I asked him what kind of sandwich he wanted for lunch.  As soon as he replied “ham and cheese” I remembered that I failed to pick up the Mayo my wife had suggested.  Further, he has dairy allergies and I could not find his diary-free cheese, and as a piece of ham on dry gluten-free bread sounded less than appetizing, I suggested peanut butter and honey instead.  He agreed, and seemed only mildly annoyed when he had to remind me yet again that he prefers creamy peanut butter. 

Normally Kacey would have given him a Zyrtec allergy pill at this time, but of course those pills were also waiting for me at the store, presumably right next to the Mayo.  But, Tito made it to the bus with two minutes to spare, and I felt like a champion.

Having just worked intensely for 20 minutes, I plopped into my easy chair as a reward.  I didn’t dare start up the coffee pot yet, as I had no interest in staying awake once I delivered Bitsy to school.

At about ten to eight, I gently woke her up and took her breakfast order.  A waffle with jam, please.  Bitsy was lucky that Kacey left some waffle batter in the fridge, otherwise there is no telling how a Boz-concocted waffle would have turned out.  She sat at the counter and played on my laptop while nibbling ever so slightly on her waffle. 

And now, it was time for her dreaded ADD meds.  She takes 40mg of some drug (maybe Ritalin) and as she can’t swallow pills, Kacey and I pursue various tactics to make her ingest the poison.  Today, I tried the approach of opening the pills, dumping the contents into a small dish, and having her dip her licked finger into the dish.  She used some sort of boxed juice as a chaser. 

I then got what was easily my best idea of the day, and will likely be my best idea of this whole adventure.  I pulled up a countdown timer on my cell phone, set it for eight minutes, and told her either the medicine would be all gone or she wouldn’t be able to use the computer for the rest of the day.

Eight minutes later, the timer went off, and the medicine was gone.  Note that I sat somewhat close such that I’m pretty sure she didn’t feed it to any of our cats.

While Kacey usually leaves the house at 8:25, ten minutes later seemed more my style.  This presumably wouldn’t have been a problem, except that when we pulled into the school’s parking lot, Bitsy exclaimed, “We left my planner and homework at home!”  Instead of stopping at the curve to drop her off, we thus just kept driving, fortunate that our house was only a mile away.  By the time we pulled back in to the school, I was the only parent dropping off their kid.  I knew she was close to being late, and think I’ve heard it mentioned that parents must check in kids that are late, but I just dropped her off and feigned ignorance as I drove away.

I arrived home, ate Bitsy’s remaining waffle for my own breakfast and did some work for a bit.  Before long, my eyes became heavy and I sacked out hard for a good couple hours.  Upon arising, I actually did some laundry and cleaning, at which time I discovered Tito’s math book and homework sitting on the counter.  Too late to get that to him.  I also vacuumed over the dried up cat vomit, and while some of it is still meshed into the carpet, most of it now appears gone.

Tito got home a bit after three, and the first thing I noticed was that Kacey’s instruction of “comb the kids’ hair” was only met with a 50% success rate.  That’s okay, I hadn’t combed mine yet either.

We had to leave at 5:30 for youth group at church (I volunteer and Tito attends), and as usual, I was running late.  I thus asked Tito to make himself another peanut butter sandwich for dinner and was relieved that he complied.  Bitsy was going to a church event with the neighbors and I am pretty sure they fed her.

After returning from church, Tito and I wrapped up his homework by 9ish, but Bitsy stayed up doing hers until nearly 11.  She was writing a story about cats, kangaroos, and hedgehogs, and fully expects that I will use my pull as a budding author to ensure her story ends up on the New York Times best seller list. 

So, let’s see, I woke up late, got one kid to school late and didn’t pack the other’s homework, didn’t give my son his medicine or comb his hair, made him eat two peanut butter sandwiches, didn’t change the cat litter or check their food/water, didn’t clean up the cat barf, didn’t make sure Tito’s hair was combed, and let Bitsy stay up until 11PM.  Oh, and the kids didn’t take baths and I again have no idea if they brushed their teeth.

But all fives creatures under my control are still breathing, I got in a nice two-hour nap, and neither the Humane Society nor Child Services paid me a visit.  All in all, I’d say it was a successful day. 

I finally crashed about one thirty, and no cats came to join me.  I don’t think they like me.