Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Operation: Creature Preservation - Day 2


For quite some time, I have been unsuccessfully trying to put my finger on “it.” The “it” is referring to what our home is missing when Kacey is not here. Tonight, as I reflect on the day’s events, I think I have identified “it.” When Kacey is in charge of the house, she “adds value,” as one would say in the business world. But when I am in charge, we simply punch the clock.


Take today for example. I “worked” until the wee hours of the morning last night, and was slightly disheartened when Tito woke me up at 6:38am with his man-child voice barking, “Get up.” I still had seven minutes to sleep before my alarm was to sound at a quarter ‘til seven, and honestly felt robbed of those seven minutes. I lumbered downstairs to basically watch Tito make his own breakfast, make his own lunch, and walk out our door toward his school bus. I really did nothing of any value in that time other than comb his hair.


I walked with him down the driveway to our street and asked if he wanted me to walk him to his bus stop. Predictably, my twelve year old son said, “No, I’ll be alright.” So, I stood at the end of our driveway and watched as he walked down to the end of the street. I was jacket-less, and it was fifteen below zero, but I didn’t mind. I knew that the number of times I would get to do that are limited.


When his bus pulled away, I re-entered my abode and fed Cash. As for the cats, they didn’t even pay attention to me when I dumped their $6 per pound duck food on a fresh plate. They almost seemed disenchanted with my existence. “Screw ‘em,” I thought to myself, and Cash and I went out to the chicken coop. I opened the coop, freshened the water and food, looked for eggs (none), and retreated into the warmth of my house.


Never haven fully woken up, I found it easy to fall asleep on my easy chair for twenty minutes. I arose to the sound of my cell-phone alarm and went upstairs to wake up Bisty - fortunately, she didn’t even fight it. She got herself ready while I mindlessly watched You Tube videos in my office – at least they were keeping me awake. At one point Bitsy called up to me and said, “Mom usually is down here with me during this part.” I obliged and asked if Kacey did anything special and she said, “I don’t know. She just kind of hangs out and talks with me.” Value added.


When it was time to drive her to school, I decided to take Cash with to get him out of the house. I opened the garage door, expecting that he would simply hang out by my car and wait for me to open the door. That expectation was foiled, however, when he spied a cat on our street. Collar-less, he bolted. And not surprisingly, wouldn’t obey my pleas to return.


For a moment, I imagined losing him forever, and I imagined Kacey beating me over the head with her largest mixing bowl. But then, the cat must have jumped a fence, as Cash came running back, and we got Bitsy to school right on time.


Now, I am known for napping. It wasn’t always that way. But a hip injury diagnosed as “osteitis pubis” shelved me for nearly nine months last year, and my physical condition went to pot. I also seem to have developed sleep apnea, and need to act on my doctor’s referral for a sleep study. So, after only resting for about four hours the night before, it is probably understandable that I laid down for a nap, and maybe even understandable that I set my alarm (my third of the day), for a full 2 ½ hours later. Well, what is not understandable is that my alarm sounded and I snoozed it TEN times – for a total of 90 minutes.


Horrified at my slothfulness, I sprung into action and I went downstairs, heated up some of yesterday’s coffee, and did some consulting work. Before long, I decided to check for eggs, and remembered how Kacey told me, “If the chicken is just sitting there, lift it up because it is probably just sitting on its egg.” I did so, no egg was present, and the chicken scurried away. I felt as if I had just violated the chicken’s privacy, and wondered if this would constitute an “intimate” moment between the two of us. I did find two other eggs, one of which was frozen. As I said in yesterday’s blog, Kacey suggested that I scramble any frozen eggs and give them to the chickens - to which I said, “Whatever.”


So, after scrambling the frozen egg (see what I did there?), I arranged for a play date for Cash with his best friend Freddy. And by “arranged,” I mean that Freddy’s owner called me and said,”I am coming to get Cash, have him ready in ten minutes.”


A while later, I picked up Bitsy from school. Dinner consisted of left-over chicken wings and Chinese food, much to the delight of the children. At church, I actually had a value-added moment and led my small group of rowdy twelve year old boys in a game of mini-marshmallow dodge-ball. Effort was expended, teamwork and strategic skills were developed, and nothing got broken. Some marshmallow may have got stuck in the carpet, but I will throw an extra few bucks in the offering plate this Sunday with a note to pass it along to our church’s custodial staff.


When we got home, I tended to the chickens and promptly fell asleep in my easy chair for another fifteen minutes. During this time, the kids, perhaps sensing my ineptness, proactively worked on their homework. The cats never even bothered to ask (and yes, they would ask) for their special dinner. In fact, I am not sure if Scarf is still in the house or not. Regardless, they certainly miss their usual caretaker. All of us do.


Today, we survived, but no value was added. Tomorrow, I will see if I can make a difference.

1 comment:

  1. For a moment, I imagined losing him forever, and I imagined Kacey beating me over the head with her largest mixing bowl. But then, the cat must have jumped a fence, as Cash came running back, and we got Bitsy to school right on time. black suit salwar punjabi , black suit punjabi simple ,

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